Ah, winter...

...how I hate it so.

No, that's not the reason I haven't updated in LITERALLY two weeks (I believe that's my longest interval between entries since I opened this thing)--that has to do with a "security related incident" we've been going through at work that's consumed most of my life. That and World of Warcraft have been pretty much all I've done for the past couple weeks, and that just isn't blog-worthy material.

I live right in the middle of last weekend's Northeast snowstorm, and managed to come through it OK. It's not that I'm lucky to be alive--it's that I'm lucky to not be in jail for killing someone. My hatred of humanity reaches new levels during wintertime. It wasn't too bad when I went into the office on Saturday--I got in and out before the snow started in earnest. Of course there was nowhere to park on the street when I got back (I live in a townhouse, so there aren't any garages on my block), so I had to park in the alley behind my house. No big deal--I prefer to park out front, but I do park out back from time to time. Of course, by the time I went to work on Monday morning, the unplowed alley had snowdrifts over a foot deep, and it took my poor little Cavalier almost twenty minutes to get to the end.

As I go around the corner and past the front of my house, of course half the people on the block have their parking spaces "reserved" with lawn chairs and the like (despite the fact that we're not supposed to do that--they only send out five flyers every winter)...but when I really lose it is when I see that someone has put a pair of those foldup "chairs-in-a-bag" in the space in front of MY FREAKING HOUSE! Only the fact that I was running very late kept me from stopping the car right there and chucking them over the roof or into the nearest snowbank.

The worst was when I got home from work on Monday night. I parked it on the street, across the street from my house, and not in someone else's illegally reserved parking space. I hadn't been in an hour when there's a knock on my door, with some douchebag kid from across the street wanting me to pull my car up some so his girlfriend can park because "she has to go to work tomorrow morning". At this point, I should have said "So do I", and slammed the door in his stupid face. But no, for some reason, I was feeling like a nice guy, so I go out into the cold and pull up as far as I can without knocking over the lawn chair, but it's still not far enough for her to squeeze her little Mitusbishi in behind me. I open my car door, point to the lawn chair to indicate that's as far up as I can go, when Douchey McFag points up ahead of me a little bit and says "There's a space you can go". How I managed to calmly and simply put my car where he was pointing instead of jumping out of my car and beating the stupid out of him while yelling "THEN WHY THE F DIDN'T SHE JUST PARK THERE?!?!" is a complete mystery to me, and a testament to my self-restraint.

Wake me up when it's springtime.