Stray-Rod

The last-ever MLB All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium is right around the corner, and all the buzz this week is about....A-Rod and Madonna. Of course, all this comes as a surprise to no one who's been paying any kind of attention to baseball and/or the gossip pages (which seem to be pretty interchangeable right now)--strippers are crawling out of the woodwork to get their 15 seconds (you don't get minutes in this case; he's a ballplayer, not a governor) of fame by telling the world they banged A-Rod (seen at left popping out with the game on the line in the 9th--AGAIN), and he was even caught going to a Toronto hotel last year with a stripper who bore a body type resemblance to She-Hulk. No, the only question here is what on earth would possess the soon-to-be-ex-Mrs. Rodriguez to conceive a second child with a world-class philanderer like her soon-to-be-ex-husband. It all becomes clearer if you accept the rumors that she ditched them in Miami while she ran around Paris with Lenny Kravitz: more kid$=more child $upport. There's gold in them thar balls!

Of course, I do have to stick up for the guy a little bit--he plays for my team, after all. My pal and Red Sox fan Pat sent me this little gem, making sure to point out the part about A-Rod drinking sex-on-the-beach cocktails. Yeah, drinking fruit drinks and then nailing a hot stripper--that's really gay, there, buddy! If only he could be more hetero--you know, like Papi and Man-Ram.