2006 NFL Predictions

With the new season kicking off (bad pun intended) on Thursday, I thought I'd throw out some predictions to ridicule later, just like you can ridicule my baseball predictions from this spring, even though the pre-playoff "stretch run" has just started.

AFC East:
1. Patriots 11-5 - Even if Branch stays out for the year, Brady still has lots of weapons, and rookie Laurence Maroney will prove an excellent complement to Dillon at RB.
2. Dolphins 9-7 - If new QB Culpepper stays healthy, he's also got a top-tier receiver in Chambers, and the absence of Ricky Williams can only be a good thing.
3. Jets 6-10 - Chad Pennington is iffy at best, the Killer B's won't match Martin's production, and their defense is week.
4. Bills 4-12 - Holcomb or Losman? Who cares? They both suck.

AFC North
1. Bengals 11-5 - Palmer bounces back, the Johnson Boys put in their usual consistent performance, and the defense is solid as ever as Cincy hangs on to take the division.
2. Steelers 10-6 - If it wasn't for bad luck, Big Ben wouldn't have no luck at all...at least until it's game time. He'll bounce back, and the Steelers will return to the playoffs.
3. Ravens 8-8 - Captain Questionable (secret identity: Steve McNair) won't be able to pull off a full season, Boller returns at QB, and Mike Anderson returns to Earth without the Denver O-line.
4. Browns 6-10 - They're the Cleveland Browns. Meh.

AFC South
1. Colts 10-6 - Edge's departure hurts, but not as much as some critics think.
2. Jaguars 8-8 - An average team has an average year. Fragile Freddie misses at least 6 games throughout the season.
3. Titans 6-10 - Vince Young isn't ready, and Volek wouldn't start anywhere else. Neither of them will have a good receiving corps to throw to--their #1 is a #2 anywhere else.
4. Texans 2-14 - Bet you wish you'd drafted Reggie Bush now, don't ya?

AFC West
1. Broncos 10-6 - He won't win a Super Bowl, but Jake shows he's The Snake and not The Mistake. The running back by committee system works better here than anywhere else.
2. Chargers 9-7 - Rivers still has a lot to learn that you can't get holding a clipboard, but he has the tools. Defense doesn't suffer much from LB Steve Foley's idiotic behavior and subsequent shooting.
3. Chiefs 6-10 - The defense improves slightly as the offense continues to age and decline. Larry Johnson accounts for most of his team's total offense, to the delight of his fantasy owners and the chagrin of Chiefs fans everywhere.
4. Raiders 4-12 - Management had so much confidence in Aaron Brooks that they gave Jeff Freakin' George a tryout. That should tell you how this season's going to go.

NFC East
1. Giants 10-6 - It's a homer pick, but this is the best Giants team I've seen in years--maybe better than the squad that went to the Super Bowl in the 2000 season. O-line and defensive tackles are the only question marks.
2. Cowboys 8-8 - They start strong, but T.O. blows up his latest team in only a year after clashes with Parcells. If he wasn't happy with McNabb throwing to him, how happy can he be with Bledsoe/Romo?
3. Eagles 7-9 - The flip side of the T.O. coin--if the Eagles couldn't win with him, how well can they possibly do with Stallworth as their #1 target?
4. Redskins 5-11 - Other than wide receivers, they haven't added much to a team that was mediocre on good days last year.

NFC North
1. Bears 9-7 - Offense wins games, defense wins at least this weak division for Chicago.
2. Vikings 8-8 - Brad Johnson is just like Daunte Culpepper, except old, white, and without the arm strength or ground speed.
3. Lions 5-11 - See the Redskins, except without adding at wide receiver.
4. Packers 4-12 - This team is at the beginning of what will prove to be a long and painful rebuilding process. Favre goes out to a hero's sendoff, but a schmo's record.

NFC South
1. Panthers 12-4 - This is a Super Bowl caliber team, if injury-prone Steve Smith and DeShaun Foster can stay healthy.
2. Buccaneers 10-6 - Chris Simms isn't his father, but this team has great backs and receivers, and a defense that's better than it's been in years. Definite wild card.
3. Falcons 8-8 - Another team that pretty much does exactly what it did last year.
4. Saints 6-10 - Better than last season, but they're not there yet. Brees is an improvement at QB and Deuce's health becomes a non-factor with the addition of Reggie Bush.

NFC West
1. Seahawks 11-5 - A couple of minor adjustments over the offseason will be enough to keep Seattle dominant in this division.
2. Arizona 8-8 - An improved club, but their QB situation resembles that of the Titans with an inexperienced rookie backing up a vet who'd be a backup anywhere else.
3. St. Louis 6-10 - Decent backs and receivers, a weak defense, and a mediocre quarterback add up to a losing season.
4. San Francisco 4-12 - Frank Gore will be a pleasant surprise; Alex Smith will struggle with poor receivers.

Wild Cards
AFC: Steelers, Dolphins; NFC: Buccaneers, Cowboys

Super Bowl Prediction
Panthers over Bengals (after Peyton Manning keeps the Dan Marino analogies alive one more year).

Feel free to critique my picks or submit some of your own in the comment section!