World Series

Damn Red Sox.

I guess if you're going to go on an eight-game winning streak, the ALCS and World Series is as good a time as any.

The worst part is I have a couple of friends who are legitimate Red Sox fans, one particularly die-hard. Now I'm going to have to hear about this at least until April, and probably until next October.

My only hope now is that the Eagles don't win the Super Bowl in January. If that happens, then I'll know that God truly hates me.

The Dark Tower

Over the weekend, I finally began reading The Dark Tower, the seventh and final book in Stephen King's masterful epic fantasy of the same name.

For my money, King is probably the best fiction author since Shakespeare. All of his stories, horror or other, just have a way of putting the reader inside his characters' heads in such a way that they seem true to life and really stay with you after you've finished the story. This is such an exceptional gift, and even moreso in a fantasy work like the Dark Tower series, where the characters are less like anything readers would find familiar.

I read the first book in this series (The Gunslinger) when I was not quite twelve years old, so I've been waiting for quite literally 14 years for the end of this story. (And it was first published in 1980, if my memory is correct--so a lot of folks have been waiting even longer than I have.) Amazing, really. I can't think of any other stories from when I was that age that still hold my interest to this day. (Star Wars might be the exception to that. Might.)

In fact, Star Wars is even a valid comparison--last year, King went back to to the beginning of the series, and revised, expanded, and updated it to bring it in line with the rest of the series, both in terms of "voice/theme" (vague concepts that I'm fairly sure only English majors can define in words, but most readers notice if a book is lacking in either of these) and to fix some errors in continuity with later works. So of course, I had to start over from the beginning of the series, just to make sure all the details were fresh in my mind before beginning the tale's end, and I'm pleased to report that unlike George Lucas's meddling, King's changes will probably not piss off a significant portion of his fan base. The plot is left unchanged (a few small incidental scenes are added, but there's no "Greedo shooting first"-style nonsense) and the "flow" (another one of those abstract terms) is much-improved, but that's about it.

For those who haven't delved into this series, I heartily recommend you start, especially if you're a fan of King's other works, because a good portion of them (well over half, I'd estimate) overlap with this series in at least some small way. Four in particular are "must-reads", however, for this series. I'd recommend reading The Talisman and Black House together (both are co-written with Peter Straub, and the latter is a direct sequel to the former) between the time you read The Waste Land (Book 3) and Wizard and Glass (Book 4). 'Salem's Lot is a must-read before Wolves of the Calla (Book 5), as there are parts of Calla that follow directly from 'Salem, making it a sort of half-sequel. And before entering the final volume of the Tower saga, be sure to read Hearts in Atlantis. Atlantis is really four novellas that follow along a story thread, and Dark Tower 7 follows one of those stories closely enough to be called a true sequel to that book, as well as to the other books in its own series.

I'm only about halfway through Volume 7 at this point, but without giving anything away, it's every bit as good as I expected. Highly recommended to King fans as well as sci-fi/fantasy junkies.

John Kerry, Sports Expert

I'm sorry, but this guy is just so easy to make fun of.

I've already showed you John Kerry, Soccer Star. And I'm sure you've already seen this picture of John Kerry, football hero.

As a diehard lifelong Boston Red Sox fan, he introduced the world to his favorite player, Manny Ortez.

And who knew that the Green Bay Packers' home stadium wasn't named for Earl "Curly" Lambeau? In fact, Kerry tells us, they play at Lambert Field.

John Kerry: a great American sportsman.

Coincidence?

I'm not big on drug references, but am I the only one who finds it funny that the distance to the centerfield end of the Green Monster is 420 feet?

NaNoWriMo

I found a link to this on the Blogger.com control panel when I went in to do my first blog entry last night. It's National Novel Writing Month. The challenge: to write a 50,000 word novel between midnight November 1st and midnight November 30th. I can't help thinking, from time to time, that I must have at least one hack mystery rattling around my head somewhere. I'm seriously thinking about signing up.

Bring it on...

It seems that one of the main political parties in Egypt (another of our supposed allies) has a high-ranking official who's endorsing the attacks on American soldiers and hostage-taking in Iraq.

Not much else to say about this. There are a lot of Islamo-fascists who hate us, and they're not restricted to any one country. Our only hope is to stop them, at any cost, before they can make prophecies like this come true.

Hat tip to Choozoo for the link.

Whoopsie daisy...

Cuba's Communist leader is apparently trying out for a position in pratfall comedy.



I wonder if they'll get Chevy Chase to play him on SNL one of these nights.

Still thinking of voting for Kerry?

Come on, now.

Do you really want this guy to be the most powerful leader in the free world? (hat tip to Abaddon)

Stupid announcing

In the last two nights, I've watched 27 innings of the Yankees-Red Sox series. That's enough extra innings to make a third game. And in that time, I've learned something. Tim McCarver is a big douchebag. Game 6 of the ALCS is tonight, and I'm going to be keeping track of all the idiotic things he says and will post them here for your edification.

And Joe Buck is no great shakes either. But at least he did those funny Budweiser commercials with Leon.

Beer Buy

I love the little liquor store on the corner near my house. Good prices, decent selection, and a staff that knows me by sight. And every once in a while, I find a pleasant surprise like the one I found this weekend.

They're offering microbrews for $12 a case--that's only a little more than the likes of PBR and Old Milwaukee, and cheaper than "mainstream beers" like Miller and Bud. I ended up with a mixed case of sixpacks of Abita Turbo Dog and In Heat Wheat and Old Scratch Amber Lager from Flying Dog Brewery.

My G-Men have a bye this week, but I'm still going to enjoy these great beers while I root against the hated Eagles and cheer on the players from my fantasy teams.

Gun-a-Mania!

Double your reading pleasure today, with links and my own unique brand of commentary on not one but two, that's right, TWO stories about regular firearms (not assault weapons, about which even I have a few misgivings) and the wacko politically correct crowd that would like nothing more than to see anything that shoots melted down into toasters, microwaves, and other kitchen appliances.

First, we go to Londonderry, New Hampshire, where a student's photo has been banned from the senior section of his high school yearbook simply because he was posing with his shotgun in a traditional safe pose with the gun broken open (and unable to fire in that position). Now, I grant you, the picture does make him look like a bit of an ignorant hillbilly, but that's his choice (and after all, there's a little bit of ignorant hillbilly in all of us). This is a hunting weapon that he obviously uses for sporting pursuits. If he was pointing it at the camera and his caption was a hit list, that would be one thing. But this, as Bill O'Reilly would say, is ridiculous.

Then, in Pine Bush, New York, a student has been suspended from his school for having his Civil War costume in the trunk of the car he drove to school. The reason? The costume included a replica musket. That's right, a replica--designed to shoot blanks. I couldn't find a story that indicates it could even fire a real bullet.

Removed from a yearbook and suspended from school simply because of their hobbies...what's the nation coming to?

Who's Your Daddy?

The Yankees are up 1-0 in the AL Championship Series against the hated Red Sox. (This is a good thing, too, since I've got money on the Yankees to take the series.) And if you want one more reason to root for the Yankees and not the Red Sox (who, by the way, will lose the series, since Babe Ruth's house was demolished yesterday--this can only piss him off and strengthen his curse), here's another one: their fans are such crybabies that Major League Baseball is recalling a particular Yankees T-shirt.

See, over the summer, Sox ace Pedro Martinez lost a game against the Yanks, and after the game told reporters, ""Call the Yankees my daddy. I can't find a way to beat them at this point." So really, Pedro brought the shirt on himself (and on his team, for that matter.) But Boston's fans "reacted negatively" (my translation: responded in a manner that makes the pacifier on the shirt appropriate), MLB pulled the shirts, and now they're selling on EBay for way more than they're worth.

And in the wake of all this controversy, Pedro has to start tonight. In Yankee Stadium. All you fans going to the game tonight...give him a chant for me. I'll cheer along from my couch:

"Who's your dad-dee?" *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAPCLAPCLAP*