For T.O.

The Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver and multimillionaire Terrell Owens needs help to feed his family.

Fortunately, Lil' Jeremy has a plan to help him out.

Beast's Cookbook: Yogurt Pie

Once again, I'm back from the dead to update the ol' blog. It's hard to believe I've put this off yet again for two whole weeks. I went to another microbrewfest at Stoudt's Brewery in Adamstown, PA--the pictures from that are up on my Flickr photo site--and helped three friends in Virginia (Mike R., Pat, and Zeb, from my Flickr photos) move from three individual apartments into the young political hack version of an Animal House apartment.

I made a yogurt pie for dessert tonight--it's one of my favorites. It's tasty, it's pretty good for you compared to most other desserts, and it's the definition of simplicity itself to make.



1 tub of Cool Whip (8 ounces)
2 - 8 ounce containers of fruit-flavored yogurt (I usually use strawberry or raspberry--either pre-blended or fruit-on-the-bottom will do)
1 premade graham cracker crust

In a large mixing bowl, combine the Cool Whip and yogurt. Mix together until completely blended and pour into crust. Cover and freeze until solid, about 4 hours. Lick mixing bowl clean (or allow nearby children to do so for you). Before serving, let stand at room temperature for about 5 minutes to soften slightly. Serves 8.

Teaser!

I hate "tune in tomorrow" announcements, but an opportunity for fun on this here lil' blog has just presented itself.

I get to work at home tomorrow--mostly learning the configuration of a hardware VPN appliance--but this aftenoon, two laptops from the 90's came across my desk for proper disposal.

Before this can happen, the client group needs to be certain that confidential data on the notebook-size hard drives won't fall into the wrong hands. My job is to make sure that happens.

With extreme prejudice.

My objective is to fold, spindle, or mutilate these drives so that they can never be used again. Post some suggestions on how I can get rid of them permanently in the comments--I'll perform some of the best "crash tests" tomorrow and post pictures ASAP.

Some considerations:

-I have a dishwasher, a pond in my back yard (currently empty of fish), a small assortment of power tools, a pair of paintball guns, and everything that I consider a common household item.

-I do not have fireworks or other explosives, "real" firearms, or any significant variety of acid. I also will not risk substantial property damage or injury to myself or anyone else.

This is also a chance for me to see just how many readers I really have (or don't have). I'm counting on you guys!

Spam blogs

Fan-freakin'-tastic.

It's not bad enough that we all get the nonsensical spams in our e-mail.

Now they're creating spamblogs too.

I hope you all fall into a barbed wire fence with Tommy Morrison.

You're no good, you're no good, you're no good....

...cocaine!

There's no denying that ol' Osama is one crafty sum-biatch--that's evident from the fact that we haven't found him yet. But if this story is real, and every indication says it is, it shows that Bin Laden still has a thing or two to learn about striking fear deep into the hearts of Americans everywhere. If this plot had been successful, it would have meant absolutely nothing to me or anyone I know (at least as far as I know). It would have accomplished a goal the government has been unsuccessfully attempting for years by finally reducing the demand for cocaine (and most likely other illicit substances, to a lesser effect). And somehow, I think life would have gone on even without the likes of Bobby Brown, Robert Downey Junior, and Yasmine Bleeth. I'm not saying I approve or condone--just that if Bin Laden thought this plot would somehow be another 9/11, then he really doesn't understand America or the average American.

Hillary vs. Rockstar

Like Squidly, I picked up Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas last week. I'm not going to spend a lot of time reviewing it--suffice to say that in the short time I've played it, I've greatly enjoyed it, and everything Squidly says in his mini-review is on the mark.

If you listen to certain interest groups, our civil liberties are being yanked away from us every day by Emperor Bushpatine and the evil Republican Empire. But the fact of the matter is that laws like the Patriot Act aren't going to affect your life in the slightest--other than making it more difficult for terrorists to blow you up, gas you, or otherwise lower your life expectancy--unless you give someone a damn good reason to think you're up to something deadly on a mass scale. In point of fact, the real threat to our freedoms--and I'm talking about the ones we take for granted on a daily basis--come from people like Senator Hillary Clinton, a big-time proponent of nanny state politics who want to dictate what sorts of entertainment adults (like me) can enjoy because of the possibility that children might get their hands on it and the possibility that their fragile psyches could somehow be harmed as a result. And now Senator Clinton has gotten her wish.

Way to go, Senator. Way to perform an end-run around the First Amendment. Here's how it works: Big bad senator makes noise, and gets the rating changed. Rating change causes recall, costing studio, publisher, and retailers millions of dollars. And the next time a studio even thinks about taking a risk with their content, they'll remember this incident and decide they'd rather stay in business than create something original and edgy. And if they don't, their publisher will. And if the publisher doesn't, the retailer will. Indirectly, it's censorship wholly within the confines of the First Amendment, and in the end, we're left with watered-down, milquetoast entertainment.

Ironic, isn't it, that in the wake of Senator Clinton's calls for an investigation of this "harmful" game, a different sort of game with much more serious and real consequences has been ignored by practically everyone? No calls for an investigation here. I guess keeping kids and teens away from virtual sex and violence is more important than keeping them alive.

Flea

The latest digital music player out of Cupertino. (Large video download, dialups beware.)

Hat tip to Bribo for the link.

This is the next logical step, you know. The iPod Shuffle is absolutely huge, and I can't understand why. My SanDisk digital audio player is smaller, holds the same amount, costs about the same amount, and isn't locked in permanent shuffle mode. I don't know how he got anyone to buy a Shuffle, but Steve Jobs is a marketing genius.

Update: a few friends have explained to me that there is, in fact, a serial mode that will play your list in order. Even so, if you're looking for portability, I'd still recommend the smaller SanDisk (with nifty velcro strap for attaching the player to your "guns" while exercising) over the Shuffle.

Not Afraid

This site says it all.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of the cowardly attack on London last week. I was simultaneously angered, saddened, and sickened, and I hope that the animals who perpetrated this vicious attack are brought to swift, brutal justice.

Long weekend

I took another trip to the Washington, D.C. area this past weekend, and went to see Jim Norton again. I went with a friend who's never seen Jim before, and isn't even very familiar with the Opie and Anthony show, where Jim Norton is a regular and of which I'm a huge fan. Jim's comedy show was at the State Theater in Falls Church, VA, and we certainly got off on the wrong foot.

We arrived at the theater a few minutes late due to mistiming trains on the Metro--the show was scheduled to start at 8 PM, and our cab from the Falls Church Metro station dropped us off at about 8:10. Fortunately, the show hadn't started and people were lined up outside. Unfortunately, that was because the show was badly oversold and the staff was telling people in the back half of the line that they'd have to come back to the just-added second show at 10:30--which of course did NOT make us happy. Eventually, they sang a different tune, and said that if we chose to stay for the originally scheduled show (for which I bought my tickets a week ahead of time), we'd have to take standing room, since we didn't have a table reserved. (Not that Ticketmaster gave me that option--though for $8 of "convenience fees", they should have given us dinner for free.)

Bottom line, we got into the show we wanted, got a good spot right in front of the sound mixer where we could see and hear everything perfectly and could lean on the partition in front of the sound pit if our feet got tired. And what a great show it was. The opener (whose name I've forgotten) was really funny, and Jimmy absolutely killed. I was a bit worried about going to another show so soon--figuring I've probably already seen it all once before. That was a groundless fear, as probably 60% or more was either new or freshly improvised material that wasn't in the show I saw in Baltimore. In fact, if I could have seen the Falls Church show at the Baltimore Improv venue, that would have been just about perfect--I think this show was even better than the (excellent) Baltimore show, in terms of content.

A special "F-you" to the bouncers who let people walk outside to smoke carrying bottles of water purchased inside, then won't let them back in with the same bottles.

Patriot-ic

House votes to remove access to library and bookstore reading lists from Patriot Act

If you've read some of my political/news type posts on here before--especially those pertaining to the War on Terror™, you may be surprised to learn that I'm giving this move a big ol' thumbs up. I may be a registered Republican who not only voted for Bush but volunteered on his campaign last fall, but when it comes to personal and social liberties, I break from the party line about as often as I follow it.

On the whole, I support the Patriot Act. I support anything that helps keep me safe from being blown up by someone who hates me because I live in a free country. But in this case, there really is such a thing as a slippery slope. I like to read, and I read a lot. I read books about politics, and history, and war (and of those books cover all three). But even more than that, I read mysteries and thrillers--books about mad bombers and slashers, brutal murders committed by out-and-out psychopaths. Should I end up on a watch list?

And it's not like this change to the Act leaves the authorities resourceless. The Patriot Act gives broad, sweeping provisions for searches, seizures, wiretaps, computer taps, and surveillance in just about every shape and form. There's plenty of ways there for the authorities to monitor people who are actually doing naughty things, not just reading something that's not on the Approved List.

I'm not a lawyer, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see anything in the language of the revised Patriot Act that keeps libraries and bookstores from turning over this information voluntarily if they see something amiss, or if the government requests it. Our laws keep the government from forcing people from turning over information they don't want to--it doesn't keep people from telling the government anything they want to. (The exception, of course, being certain professions where confidentiality is part of the job, such as doctors and lawyers. Somehow, I don't think a clerk at Borders or a librarian qualifies.)

Michael Jackson

I guess it's big news, but I've tried to avoid watching the media overkill of the Michael Jackson trial and acquittal as much as possible. I was curious enough to watch the verdict reading when I came home from work yesterday and turned on Fox News, but really, I'm left with two main streams of thought.

1. He's probably guilty, but with all the hoopla, sensationalism, and surprise witnesses, the jury probably wasn't left with much choice. And after (in reverse chronological order) Jackson, Robert Blake, and O.J. Simpson, as Steven Hill would say, the L.A. County D.A.'s office "has a lot of egg on their faces". They'd better hope they can convict Phil Spector, or they're going to look very bad indeed.

2. He's probably guilty, and the victim should never be blamed for crimes of this nature, but what about his parents? It's not like this is the first time "Jack-o" has been accused of molesting children...what the hell were they thinking, letting him sleep over unsupervised? (Hint: it starts with "M" and ends with "oney".) If Jackson had been convicted, I would have loved to have seen the parents brought up on accessory charges.

Beerfest

I went back to my home town of Reading, PA this weekend to go to the 2005 Great Eastern Invitational Microbrewery Festival at Stoudt's Brewery in nearby Adamstown. Altogether, ten of us went and sampled sixty different kinds of beer from about 20 different breweries that came from up and down the East coast, from Portland, Maine to New Orleans. I'm something of a dark beer aficionado, so my favorites list from this year's fest would have to be the Rogue Chocolate Stout, the DuClaw "Naked Fish" Chocolate Raspberry Stout, the Hop Hog IPA and Milk Stout from Lancaster Brewing Co., and the Weyerbacher Heresy oak barrel-aged bourbon porter. This year was my third trip to the June festival, and this year, instead of a beveled mini-pilsner glass, they gave everyone a miniature pint glass. Unfortunately, the mini-pint had a fill line marked off at three ounces this year, and most of the suds-slingers followed that instruction, necessitating more walking around for beer this year than in years prior. But at $25 for four hours of Q.D.T. (that's Quality Drinkin' Time), it's still a bargain and a helluvalotta fun. And I've got pictures up on my Flickr photo site to prove it!