Why I'm A Yankees Fan

Because if I were a Red Sox fan, I'd have something in common with this load.

Seriously--they actually took court time to let a convicted criminal out of jail to go to a baseball game? He violated a restraining order--that implies a history of violence. (Based on the picture, it is possible that said order was taken out by the local bakery, however.) Thank God I don't live in Iowa; if my tax dollars had contributed to this, I likely would have stroked out.

I just wonder if they let him change out of his prison jumpsuit and put on his Sox jersey to go to the game. If they did, I'm guessing it was a throwback Mo Vaughn--that's the only one they make in his size.

Hat tip to my friend Pat ("proud" member of Red Sox Nation) for the link.

Gone Green

I never thought I'd join the "stop global warming at any cost" movement. But it looks like hell just froze over. Or at least the version of hell presided over by the Hop Devil. Of course, we could just start pushing the world's hops production north. There's plenty of unused space up there in the northern parts of Canada, Greenland, and Russia that could host enough hops farms to supply our craft brewers.

Hubby Chaser

Those wacky hippies at Ben and Jerry's are at it again--they've renamed their "Chubby Hubby" ice cream flavor to "Hubby Hubby" to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage in Vermont. But is it a step forward for gay rights--or a step forward for bloggers who go for the cheap joke? Check out the description of the flavor on the picture--those pretzels don't look so appetizing when they're presented in a gay context. And is it just a coincidence that the word "fudge" appears more than once in the description? Couldn't they have changed it to "chocolate", just for the month that the flavor is on the market? Either that, or just go for the obvious one....

"Packed with fudge!"

Forward March

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Growth Industry

New jobless claims are up again, despite other indicators that the economy is entering a recovery period. But not every company is laying off workers. Some are doing well, and doing their part to increase the work force. Of course, if this keeps up, people won't need government handouts anymore, so this has to be stopped right away. How to accomplish this? Tax the hell out of 'em, of course!

(Hat tip to Starr of Texas and Beer Wars over on Twitter for the links.)

Dying Breed

Check out the second page of this article, on Walgreen's rejection of the state's lowball bid on Medicaid reimbursement. Specifically, this quote (the emphasis is mine):

The dispute now amounts to a $1 million savings for the state, and a $500,000 cost for Walgreens. That kind of money might be found in the seat cushions of Legislative Hall or the lint screens of a pharmaceutical salesman's clothes dryer. It represents an almost imperceptible blip in the record earnings Walgreen's has recorded in its past 34 consecutive fiscal years.

This isn't one a quote from a member of the churches pressuring Walgreen's to cave in. These are the words of the supposedly fair, unbiased reporter who wrote the story. This isn't in the op-ed section; it's in the local news section. Jabs like this are the precise reason why I don't subscribe to the print edition of my local paper. Am I the only one? Or is biased reporting part of the reason why this venerable medium is circling the drain? Unlike the News-Journal, I'll let you be the judge.

To The Birthers:

It's real. The controversy is over. Now STFU, please. Now. Seriously. You're an embarrassment to conservatives everywhere. Like in, ELF-to-the-liberals-level embarrassment. Like in, the-government-is-responsible-for-September-11th-to-all-Americans-level embarrassment. Like in, the-moon-landing-was-fake-to-the-entire-human-race-level embarrassment. You're the reason I have to whisper that I'm a Republican. You're the reason people roll their eyes and shake their heads when they overhear my whispers anyway. Just go away, before you tar us all with your brush for the 2010 election cycle.

ThisIsWhyYoureBroke.com

Because, in the midst of trying to reduce a huge deficit, you grant $50,000 to a private company so that they can make instant French fry vending machines, with the promise of more state money to come once a working prototype is completed.

Is it just a coincidence that the owner of the company is both the neighbor and nephew-in-law of the head of the state senate's Bond Bill committee?

This is the fiscal equivalent of someone who needs to lose a hundred pounds sitting down for a nice healthy breakfast of Snicker Bar Pancakes.

Sock Puppets

My great home state has found a way to cut nearly 10% off their budget deficit without raising tax rates one red cent--legal sports gambling. Now two buttinsky senators--Hatch (R-UT) and Kyl (R-AZ), to be specific--want to shut it down before it even gets started. Their reasoning? Sports betting "threatens the integrity of the pastimes our citizens enjoy and the nature of the games they follow." Thank you, Senators, for your concern over the integrity of our entertainment while our troops are still fighting the war on terror and our economy is still in recession. Funny how this never came up when sports betting was limited to Las Vegas. Wait a minute...Utah and Arizona both border Nevada. Surely these two aren't influenced at all by campaign contributions from their local casino owners. Look carefully and you can almost see the hands up their asses making their mouths move.

MADD About Beer

Some special interest groups are like unions: they were formed for a good cause, but outgrew that initial purpose as they gained political traction. Take MADD, for example. No one is denying that DUI crashes are a terrible thing, and MADD is to be commended for getting the nation to take them seriously. But do they really need to go after (the excellent) Flying Fish Brewery over a line of specialty beers that pay mock tribute to the legendary Jersey Turnpike? If they're promoting drunken driving, then maybe MADD should go after Fat Tire next (okay, it's a bike tire, but you could still mess yourself up pretty good weaving around on a bike). And they must really hate these commemorative NASCAR beer steins! Do they really think a beer's name is going to influence (by definition) grown adults to get liquored up and slalom down the Jersey Turnpike...or at least any more often than that already happens? Or is this just another publicity grab by a special interest group that's outgrown its original mission?

Get Over It

Economists are saying the recession could have another quarter or more to go, Iran is broken out in violence that could determine whether they become a progressive democracy or remain a reactionary radical state, and we're worried about David Letterman's stupid jokes? That's stupid enough, but to keep protesting after the butt of the joke has accepted his apologies takes it to a whole different level. A classic case of "we get the government we deserve."

Now, Megan Fox topless pictures....there's a distraction from hard news I can get behind (warning: link delivers what it promises.)

Phone-y

I hate to keep "borrowing" Vodkapundit's post format, but it's just so damned genius.

Under President Obama’s plan, 95% of Americans will receive a tax cut. Except the ones who make phone calls.