To The Birthers:

It's real. The controversy is over. Now STFU, please. Now. Seriously. You're an embarrassment to conservatives everywhere. Like in, ELF-to-the-liberals-level embarrassment. Like in, the-government-is-responsible-for-September-11th-to-all-Americans-level embarrassment. Like in, the-moon-landing-was-fake-to-the-entire-human-race-level embarrassment. You're the reason I have to whisper that I'm a Republican. You're the reason people roll their eyes and shake their heads when they overhear my whispers anyway. Just go away, before you tar us all with your brush for the 2010 election cycle.

ThisIsWhyYoureBroke.com

Because, in the midst of trying to reduce a huge deficit, you grant $50,000 to a private company so that they can make instant French fry vending machines, with the promise of more state money to come once a working prototype is completed.

Is it just a coincidence that the owner of the company is both the neighbor and nephew-in-law of the head of the state senate's Bond Bill committee?

This is the fiscal equivalent of someone who needs to lose a hundred pounds sitting down for a nice healthy breakfast of Snicker Bar Pancakes.

Sock Puppets

My great home state has found a way to cut nearly 10% off their budget deficit without raising tax rates one red cent--legal sports gambling. Now two buttinsky senators--Hatch (R-UT) and Kyl (R-AZ), to be specific--want to shut it down before it even gets started. Their reasoning? Sports betting "threatens the integrity of the pastimes our citizens enjoy and the nature of the games they follow." Thank you, Senators, for your concern over the integrity of our entertainment while our troops are still fighting the war on terror and our economy is still in recession. Funny how this never came up when sports betting was limited to Las Vegas. Wait a minute...Utah and Arizona both border Nevada. Surely these two aren't influenced at all by campaign contributions from their local casino owners. Look carefully and you can almost see the hands up their asses making their mouths move.

MADD About Beer

Some special interest groups are like unions: they were formed for a good cause, but outgrew that initial purpose as they gained political traction. Take MADD, for example. No one is denying that DUI crashes are a terrible thing, and MADD is to be commended for getting the nation to take them seriously. But do they really need to go after (the excellent) Flying Fish Brewery over a line of specialty beers that pay mock tribute to the legendary Jersey Turnpike? If they're promoting drunken driving, then maybe MADD should go after Fat Tire next (okay, it's a bike tire, but you could still mess yourself up pretty good weaving around on a bike). And they must really hate these commemorative NASCAR beer steins! Do they really think a beer's name is going to influence (by definition) grown adults to get liquored up and slalom down the Jersey Turnpike...or at least any more often than that already happens? Or is this just another publicity grab by a special interest group that's outgrown its original mission?

Get Over It

Economists are saying the recession could have another quarter or more to go, Iran is broken out in violence that could determine whether they become a progressive democracy or remain a reactionary radical state, and we're worried about David Letterman's stupid jokes? That's stupid enough, but to keep protesting after the butt of the joke has accepted his apologies takes it to a whole different level. A classic case of "we get the government we deserve."

Now, Megan Fox topless pictures....there's a distraction from hard news I can get behind (warning: link delivers what it promises.)

Phone-y

I hate to keep "borrowing" Vodkapundit's post format, but it's just so damned genius.

Under President Obama’s plan, 95% of Americans will receive a tax cut. Except the ones who make phone calls.

Second Place Is No Place

Peyton Manning, #1 NFL draft pick, 1998: 3-time NFL season MVP, 2006 Super Bowl champion and MVP, and one of the biggest national sports celebrities with millions of dollars in contracts and endorsement deals.

Ryan Leaf, #2 NFL draft pick, 1998: 4 wins as a starter in his first three years, retired in disgrace after four injury-riddled years, and now a wanted fugitive.

Blackmail

Or at least that's what it's called when private individuals act this way. When the government does it, it's called...well, I don't know what it's called, but it ought to be called the same thing. God forbid a retail business actually wants to get paid at least enough to recoup its own costs for the products it sells. And I can just hear the thought process of the (Democrat) representative who came up with this idea: "How dare this business try to make money? They're making it more difficult for our Medicaid patients to get their medicine! Wait, I know what we can do...we can make it more difficult for state employees to get their prescriptions, too! If it goes well enough, we can drive this large chain out of the state entirely, losing hundreds of jobs in the process! That'll mean more people dependent on the government, thereby guaranteeing me and my pals jobs for life! Self-high-five!"

I Won't Drink To That, Part 2

Apparently, the proposed increased booze taxes that Congress is proposing sounded like such a good idea that the states are beginning to jump in. Never mind that this tax is going to hurt the many local breweries that provide jobs and revenue around the state. And never mind that a lot of the liquor stores around the state are locally owned and operated as well. Just keep chipping away until nobody can afford to do anything the slightest bit bad for themselves. Or fun.

I Won't Drink To That

Under President Obama’s plan, 95% of Americans will receive a tax cut. Except for the ones who drink beer. This actually pissed me off enough to write to my senator on the finance committee; follow the links in the article to find out if you have one and do the same.

The format of this post was shamelessly "borrowed" from Vodkapundit.

When I Was Your Age...

...we had to write and turn in our research papers for school on time. We didn't have services like Corrupted-Files.com to sell us deliberately corrupted Microsoft Office documents that we could pass off as our completed work to stall for time while we waited for our teachers and professors to ask us to "re-send" them.

Hat tip to my old boss for the link.

This Is My Home State

Sussex family protests student's ban from graduation

There's a reason the southern part of the state is called "Slower Lower". Check out this quote from this future inmate's aunt:

"[My son] was found getting high in school and all they did was make him get drug rehab. And even though he failed all them drug tests, they still let him walk. All Robert did was threaten someone verbally."

So he threatens a teacher, and gets a slap-on-the-wrist school suspension instead of an assault charge. Oh, and he still gets his diploma without so much as summer school. Some people just don't know how to count their blessings.