It's Funny Because It's True

From Cox & Forkum, a site which is going on my permalink list. Hat tip to Op-For for the cartoon and hat tip to Vodkapundit for letting me know that the Officers' Club has become Op-For.

Dateline's Wacky NASCAR Adventure

Dateline NBC sends Muslims to NASCAR event in search of prejudice

I guess this really isn't much of a story. Anyone who's read Bernard Goldberg's excellent book Bias (or really, anyone with a modicum of common sense) knows that "magazine" shows like Dateline NBC are 4 parts entertainment, fluff, and shock value to every 1 part "hard news". They love to find the scary things all around us, and point out how evil and racist America is (although I must admit, I love the Perverted Justice pedophile-busting episodes). So they send a group of Arab Muslims to walk around a NASCAR event, which everyone knows is crawling with backwoods Republican-voting redneck racists. And not just any NASCAR event, many of which are held in or near urban areas like Las Vegas, Charlotte, and Dover...they sent them to the race in Martinsville, arguably the most backwoods track on the circuit. So surely, these Muslims wandering around the event with their backpacks got heckled and harassed, right?

Click here to hear what happened.

I wonder if NBC will air the footage showing that even in the heartland, the majority of people are tolerant of others, at least when out in public. Somehow, I doubt it.

Star Wars Kid

From the Ultra-Frivolous Lawsuits File:

Star Wars Kid settles lawsuit against classmates

If this Frederica Bimmel lookalike contest winner gets one thin dime out of this, it's way too much. He honestly expected over $300,000 because he filmed himself flailing around like a dumbass with a pole, then left the tape in a school-owned camera and put it back on the shelf for anyone to come along and find. "The youngster from a small town in Quebec says he was driven out of school by classmates who taunted him with chants of "Star Wars Kid! Star Wars Kid!" says the news story. Somehow I doubt this video cast him down from Mr. Popularity to the butt of everyone's jokes. Stupid is as stupid does...hopefully stupid didn't equal payday here.

(In case you've been living under a rock and haven't seen this goofball, you can see the original and all the remixes here.)

2006 Baseball Predictions

The 2006 Major League Baseball season is upon us, with the champs defeating the Angels in last night's Sunday night opener. My beloved Yankees open their season on the road in Oakland tonight at 10:05 my local time--with my body still getting used to the weekend time change, I'm going to be in bad shape tomorrow. Here are my picks for the season, lifted from a comment on one of Blowhard's posts, with the comments updated just a little bit. Yeah, yeah, lazy post, I know. Just wait until tomorrow's update.

AL East: Toronto (my vote for most improved team, and they're young and hungry)
AL Central: Chicago White Sox(the champs prove last year wasn't a fluke)
AL West: Anaheim (still the team to beat in the West)
AL Wild Card: NY Yankees (they edge out the Red Sox and A's)

NL East: Atlanta (pretty much by default)
NL Central: St. Louis (fuhgeddabout the National League, best team in baseball)
NL West: San Diego (absolutely by default)
NL Wild Card: NY Mets (keeping in mind that all of their new players will lose 1/3 of their talent the moment they put on the Mets uniform)

ALDS: Anaheim over Toronto, White Sox over Yankees
ALCS: Chicago over Anaheim

NLDS: St. Louis over Mets, San Diego over Atlanta
NLCS: St. Louis over San Diego

World Series: St. Louis over White Sox

Everyone bookmark this post so you can come back and ridicule me in November.

Friday Fun

I don't want to completely bum everyone out on a Friday with deep questions, so here's a fun little ditty that's all about God and his wrath. (Caution, contains some not-safe-for-work language.)

Hat tip to the Ron and Fez show.

Toeing the Hard Line

I support the war on terror. I value my safety, and the nation's, over just about everything else. I support the stated goals of bringing to justice Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda, who were directly responsible for the attacks on 9/11, as well as those who granted them aid or support, past or present, such as Afghanistan's Taliban regime. also support the unstated benefit of freeing frequently oppressed peoples living under dictatorial regimes, introducing democracy into that part of the world, and hopefully setting up areas in a turbulent region that will at least deal with the West diplomatically, if not as outright allies.

But a very disturbing question came to me during the early stages of the war on terror, not long after we had officially vanquished the Taliban government in Afghanistan and was preparing to set up a constitution and a system of free elections. I've asked it of virtually everyone I've spoken to about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and no one, including myself, has been able to provide me with a satisfactory answer. And that question is this: Given the population makeup of the region, what will the U.S. do if the citizens of one of these countries elect a hardline Muslim government that is unlikely to be friendly to Western countries and interests?

Now, an Afghani man has had to flee his homeland under threat of the death penalty, his only crime being his conversion to Christianity. The U.S. and other free nations have, of course, denounced this. And if this were Iran or Syria, something like this would be glossed over with hardly a second thought, just "business as usual", a token denunciation, and back to the latest Jessica Simpson gossip. (OK, that last part pretty much happened anyway.) The salient point here, at least for me, is that this radical Islamist government is one that we enabled. We set up the elections, we made sure they were handled fairly, and we endorsed the new government when it took power. Aren't we, in some small way, responsible for this government's actions that are so clearly at odds with everything that we stand for? Are we correct in giving them the freedom to choose not to be free? Just how many liberties does the populace as a whole have the right to surrender on behalf of every single individual, including those who didn't vote to surrender said freedoms? These aren't rhetorical questions--I'm still searching for the answers. And I suspect I still will be for a very long time.

Searching for Barney Gumbel

Texas cops go into bars to arrest drunks

In my neverending "erosion of personal freedoms" series, I bring you this little nugget from the state that defines common sense. Thank you, Papa Government, for protecting us from ourselves! Who needs relaxation and enjoyment when we can have the relaxing sensation of total security? Here's my favorite part of the article: "[Alcoholic Beverage Commission] spokeswoman Carolyn Beck says drinking is fine, but people who drink too much can be a danger to themselves and others." Sure--if they drive, they're a huge danger. But not all of us shotgun as many beers as possible then jump behind the wheel. What's next, cops entering cigar bars to arrest smokers? After all, secondhand smoke is harmful, right? Why not come into my house and arrest me for the bag of laundry supplies at the top of my basement steps that I haven't brought downstairs yet? You wouldn't want me to fall and break my neck, after all. Be sure to go into gyms and make sure no one's using the equipment properly. And since once you do that no one will want to work out any more, better outlaw fast foods and delicious desserts--got to keep society safe from obesity and heart disease!

I just hope it doesn't take too long before someone gets the stones to challenge this law--it can't possibly be constitutional to arrest someone in anticipation of a minor crime they're about to commit.

Leprechaun

Or it could be a crackhead!

Hat tip to the O&A show.

March Madness

I love NCAA tournament time. And I think my parents and I have the system down pat:



Yep, that's four screens with four different games on them--every single game being played at any moment. My folks have the March Madness package on the three TV sets and my 15" widescreen Sager notebook serves as the fourth thanks to March Madness On Demand. Add to that fact that I'm near the top of the leader board in Blowhard's pool, and I just have one thing to say:

Spring Fever

Ah, what a great time of year. The weather's warmer (usually), I'm wearing green and putting The Pogues up in my Recent Experiences section, and I'm all set to watch more of the NCAA Tournament. Only a couple of more weeks till the baseball season--I think I'll get ready by loading up this season's version of one of the many MLB video games for my PC.

MLB signs exclusive game deal with Take-Two Interactive

Dammit. Things like this are the reason why all of the doomsayers keep saying that PC gaming is dying . Take-Two, you see, publishes Sega's 2K Sports line. The 2K Sports line is only released for consoles. So now, if I want to play the 2006 MLB season, I have to either scour the web for a roster update for last year's MVP Baseball or shell out a bunch of money for new gaming hardware (i.e., a console) after I've already spent bundles of money making my gaming PC all it can be. Thanks a lot, Major League Baseball, for buying into the hype and leaving PC gamers out in the cold. At least when the NFL sold its soul to EA Sports and John Madden, it made sure that everyone could get a little piece of the action.

Darwin Award nominees

I'm sure there's a special place in Hell for me for some of the things I laugh at--the deaths of stupid people being foremost among them.

Fortunately, I'm not alone. I'm sure most of my readers know of the Darwin Awards--they're named for Charles Darwin and awarded to dumbasses who help humanity evolve by taking themselves out of the gene pool in ways that suit their intelligence (or at least common sense).

Well, the 2005 awards have already been handed out, but I've got a pair of nominees for 2006 (and yes, I will be submitting them to the Darwin Awards.)

Couple dies naked in running car
Running car+closed garage=dead. It's a simple equation that everyone knows. Well, almost everyone. At least these two went out swingin'...and this line--"experts say carbon monoxide, a colorless and odorless gas, can kill within six to eight hours of continuous exposure"--indicates they were in there for a while. Hubba hubba! (Hat tip to the Opie and Anthony show.)

Miss Deaf Texas killed by train
As if the world needed more proof that looks and brains are too often handed out in inverse proportions. Trains are not like cars--they follow giant metal rails and make enough noise to rumble the ground beneath your feet as they approach....I actually think that just about every train death should be a candidate for the Darwin Awards. My favorite line of this report? "A witness told Austin television station KTBC the train sounded its horn right up until the accident occurred." Oops.

Press Your Luck

In Memoriam: Peter Tomarken



When I was just a lil' bugger, I used to love sick days home from school. The ability to lay around and sleep was almost worth all of the vile medicines my mother would force down my throat. And to top it all off were the gameshows. The Price is Right. Card Sharks. But my absolute favorite had to be Press Your Luck. Creampuff multiple choice questions that let me feel smart, flashing colorful things, and cartoon Whammies--I didn't get some of the pop culture references, but they sure were goofy-looking. Heck, the show even ended up creating a true urban legend. Thank you, Peter, for making my childhood sick days a little better.