V.I.L.

That's Very Important Link, and it pertains to the newest addition to my Blogroll section. It's a new nonprofit organization that I felt was important enough to move to the top, even over the blogs of my closest friends, at least for now. (Those two need to post some updates anyway!) It's a group called People Against Censorship, and it's an anti-special-interest-group special interest group. They're out to counter the vocal minority led by the likes of the Revs. Jackson and Sharpton, and more recently, the Organization of Chinese-Americans, who last week got yet another radio show taken off the air by being a vocal minority.

If you're as tired as I am of having other people dictate by what you are and are not allowed to be entertained, then follow the link to their site. Even if you can't participate in their rallies and events, you can help their cause just by registering for their site--in the battles the PAC is fighting, numbers matter a great deal.

I Feel Like Chicken Tonight...

Or at least I did, until I found this delicious treat sitting on my backyard picnic table bench. I can't figure out where it came from, unless there's a nest on my roof that I can't see, and even then the trajectory to have it end up there is one in a million. Yuck, now I've got to go clean this mess up.

Yellow Journalism

This is the type of garbage that's passing for news in my local paper. Is it any wonder that print media is dying? This article would be right at home in the editorial section, but no, you can find it in the local news section of the Wilmington paper (just about the only option for local news in this part of the state). Small wonder that illegal immigration remains such a problem when media outlets are sympathizing with lawbreakers. A few choice samples:

"Undocumented immigrants like Bernadino and his wife, Dominga, live with the constant fear that "la migra" -- slang for immigration officers -- can strike anytime, anywhere."

Way to make an agency of our duly elected government sound like a South American dictator's death squad.

The stepped-up enforcement has put Delaware's undocumented population -- concentrated in jobs in the poultry and mushroom industries -- on alert, creating a heightened level of fear that changes everyday life.

Everyday life for a fugitive isn't and shouldn't be like everyday life for law-abiding citizens.

"We're working, we're innocent," [a Guatemalan illegal] said.

Guess again, honey. You're not innocent; you're guilty of violating federal immigration law. And shame on this newspaper and reporter for portraying the situation any other way.

Rage Against Rage Against The Machine

Rage Against the Machine is back together after a long hiatus, at least long enough for a mini-tour this summer. I for one hope it leads to some new album releases--in their day, they were some of the most innovative musicians in rock & roll, particularly guitarist Tom Morello. Not surprisingly, though, this left-wing politically charged band created some controversy at their first performance this week. The president and his cabinet as "Nazi war criminals"? Not exactly original, guys.

But be that as it may, I'd be hypocritical if I joined the masses calling for them to be investigated, prosecuted, or otherwise censored after supporting Don Imus's right to free speech during Nappyheadedho-gate. The fact of the matter is that while I couldn't disagree more with their opinion, they didn't come anywhere near the line of inciting actual violence. Lead singer Zack de la Rocha did call for the the death of a president, this is true. But read the true transcript:

"A good friend of ours said that if the same laws were applied to U.S. Presidents as were applied to the Nazi's after World War II, then every single one of 'em, every last rich white one of 'em from Truman on would have been hung to death, and shot. And this current administration is no exception. They should be hung, and tried, and shot. As any war criminal should be."

The italics in that quote were added by me, to point out what keeps it unquestionably protected speech: what's being advocated here is not murder, but execution, a legitimate judicial process. And that's a threat that needs to be a viable option for us all.

And in keeping with this week's pro-free-speech post, I've changed my Recent Experiences album this week to Rage's greatest album, instrumentally speaking, 1996's terrific Evil Empire. Enjoy the weekend, everyone!

Imus and VT

I guess I've about missed my chance to comment on the Don Imus situation, since it's been replaced by the Virginia Tech story in America's ADD-paced media spotlight. There's not too much I can say about it that hasn't been said anyway--I'm a fan of Imus, I'm not a fan of Sharpton or Jackson, and both advertisers and media outlets are too quick to capitulate to threats from special interest groups of questionable effectiveness. The taking of our free speech rights isn't coming from the government, it's coming from corporate conglomerates. And isn't it wonderful how everyone rushed to come out as an "insider against Imus" once he was safely fired and there was no danger of rebuttal? Olberman and Russert, I'm looking straight at you.

But that's nothing compared to the "soft targets" that are about to come under attack in the wake of the Virginia Tech tragedy. Get ready for another round of calls for tougher gun laws, in spite of the fact that a single armed civilian could potentially have lowered the casualty count by stopping the shooter more quickly. And as information about this shooter gradually becomes available, watch for extremists from both parties to take pro-censorship stances if it's revealed that he ever watched Natural Born Killers or ever played a game of Doom (yes, I know that's a dated reference, but it still seems to be the one that the politicians still like to use, fifteen years after the game's release), ignoring the sea of people who patronize the billion-dollar entertainment industries without ever committing a violent crime themselves (myself included). The only way to avert tragedies like this is to continue to try and identify mentally ill individuals (as this man obviously was), and get them out of the general populace and into treatment before they hurt others.

New Link: Screwballs

I've added another blog I'm really enjoying to my blogroll list, the lighter-side-of-baseball site Screwballs, currently featuring A-Rod homosexuality and a pedophile mascot (who's a ripoff of Oscar the Grouch). Go on over and give 'em some traffic.

Hat tip to my blogless pal Zeb for the link.

Playoffs? Don't Talk About Playoffs!

OK, Coach Mora, I won't dwell on them for long. But I'm excited about the start of the NHL playoffs tonight--I've gotten back into this sport in a big, big way after taking last year off as an "F-U season" following the previous year's lockout. Of course I'll be rooting for my New York Rangers, hoping they can carry their mostly positive momentum forward from the second half of the season. Of course, should they get knocked out, look for the logo to the left to be replaced with one for my brother's Pittsburgh Penguins.

Gangsta Style

Gizoogle - see the web in Doggy Dogg style!

And just in time for Easter Sunday...

Jeebus Is God - the gangsta's Bible.

Happy Easter, everyone!

All A-Twitter

Yep, another new feature here at Beast's World for all my fine readers today. Over the weekend, my blogging buddy Squidly posted a link to a short-form blogging site called "Twitter", used to share the mundane details of what you're doing Right This Minute™. It's meant to be used with cell phones and instant messengers, but I don't have the former and seldom use the latter, so instead of where I am and what I'm doing, you'll mostly get my random short-form thoughts that don't merit a full-fledged blog entry. Of course, if you're a true fan, you'll want to read the archive, and add me as a friend so we can read each other's drivel right on our own pages.

2007 MLB Predictions

I love baseball season, and it kicked off last night with Squidly's Mets giving a sound thrashing to the defending champion St. Louis Cardinals. My beloved Yankees open up the season this afternoon against Tampa Bay. It should be an easy series win on paper, but for some reason the D-Rays always seem to cause us problems, especially tonight's starter, Scott Kazmir. (I say tonight because I'll be watching on my MLB.TV archive--so don't ruin it for me!) That being said, if I'm going to do a prediction post for the season, I probably should do it before I actually start to watch the games (although I could buck the trend and be the only blogger to make a prediction post during the All-Star break.)

American League

AL East: Does anyone think believe this division will be anything other than Boston and New York battling it out for the pennant? They both have great pitching rotations (if they can keep them healthy), but I think hitters will start to figure out Dice-K's gyroball as they get good looks at it, and I also think the Yankees' bullpen is just a hair better than that of the Sawks. Division champ: Yankees in a squeaker.

AL Central: The Tigers won't catch anyone by surprise this year, but last year's young players will only continue to improve. Chicago is over, and the Indians will have Detroit looking over their shoulder at the All-Star break, but this division won't be competitive by the end of August. Division champ: Tigers all the way.

AL West: The A's have lost their best pitcher to free agency, the Rangers and Mariners will be fortunate to finish at .500, thus leaving the division open for the Angels...if they can stay healthy. Division champ: Angels.

AL Wild Card: Red Sox. Cleveland will give them the toughest run for their money and Oakland will be there through mid-September, but Boston always seems to flip that switch when they need to.

National League

NL East: I made the mistake of overestimating Atlanta and underestimating the Mets and Phils last year--a mistake that won't be repeated here. Philadelphia's stronger starting rotation and more powerful bats overcome the Mets' deeper bullpen in a close race. Loser of this division takes the Wild Card even if I end up having the order backwards. The other three teams in this division will be lucky to finish with a winning percentage over .400. Division champ: Phillies by a nose.

NL Central: St. Louis repeats, that much isn't in doubt. (At least as Tony LaRussa refrains from taking a drunken power-nap in the dugout.) Injury-prone Chicago will start strong but won't be able to hang in there. Out of the other teams in the division, watch for the Pirates to be this year's Tigers, making a surprise run at a Wild Card berth. Division champ: Cardinals by default.

NL West: San Francisco improves, but I'm picking with my heart here and predicting that Barry Bonds's knees give out, he's unable to catch Hank Aaron, and 'Frisco falls short against the Padres. I also predict that Randy Johnson still sucks, and hence the Diamondbacks finish with a losing record again, along with the Rockies.

NL Wild Card: Mets over the surprise Pirates. The Dodgers and Cubs will be in this race as well.

AL Playoffs
ALDS: Yankees over Angels, Tigers over Red Sox
ALCS: Tigers over Yankees

NL Playoffs
NLDS: Phillies over Padres, Cardinals over Mets
NLCS: Phillies over Cardinals

World Series: Phillies over Tigers in 6

We'll be back to this post in October to see how I did. Don't forget to leave your own predictions in the comments!

I Can't Drive 55

I'm making this post from the living room of my parents' house near Reading, Pa. after watching tonight's NCAA action further jeopardize my pool-winning hopes. The road I took from my office in Delaware is a winding two-lane that passes through what used to be some idyllic country and is now McMansion developments and strip malls, and can be frustrating, as passing zones are few and far between. Many's the time I've arrived stressed and angry, in search of a first Friday's scotch, and with the light drizzle tonight, my drive started off as another of those, at least for a while. In the interest of avoiding potential legal repercussions, I did not perform any of the actions listed here; I merely offer advice to my fellow two-lane travelers.

Few things can be more frustrating than being stuck behind an Amish horse and buggy. I respect their right to practice their religion, but their proverbial right to swing their fists ends when they hit my proverbial nose, and there's just no place for the horse and buggy on the modern road. (I speak in parable in case someone prints this post out and shows it to them, and the printout doesn't cause their eyes to spontaneously burst into flames.) Fortunately, I've found a simple enough way to encourage them to remove themselves from in front of you. Simply place the most explicit rap CD you can find in your car stereo, roll down the windows, and turn the volume up to the point where every filthy dirty curse word is plainly audible, but before the bass distorts and drowns out said lyrics. DMX is good, but he has a tendency to use a word that probably doesn't upset the Amish very much, owing to their lack of melanin. Even better is Eminem--he compensates for his inability to use the dreaded "N-word" by tossing out extra helpings of F-bombs.

Almost as annoying is the old folks in a jalopy who insist on driving at least ten miles per hour below the posted speed limit. (Folks, if either you or your car can't go the limit, then at least one of you doesn't belong on that stretch of road.) You might think it's a good idea to helpfully flash your lights at them to let them know you're back there and need to get by before riding up on their tailgate. However, this might cause the old man driving to wake his dozing wife in the passenger seat and say something along the lines of "Get 'im, Flossie!" This, in turn, may cause her to take her camera, point it at your car through their back windshield, and snap off pictures so that the flash makes you back off in terror. Should you be faced with this life-and-death situation, begin by making a Vulcan "V" with your four fingers (your index and middle fingers will suffice if you can't do it with all four), then flick your tongue in and out rapidly in the middle. Should this not sufficiently diminish her aggression, make a fist, press your thumb and index finger to the right side of your lips, bulge out your left cheek with your tongue, and move the fist to and fro. Finally, should this fail to adequately motivate, make a "thumbs-up" sign, rotate it ninety degrees, and drag the thumb across your throat from left to right while laughing hysterically. Bonus points if you actually draw blood with your thumbnail. This will cause them to turn into the first available Wawa bathroom to change their now-soiled-with-terror Depends.

Follow these tips and you too can navigate a two-lane road to your destination with sanity intact. Not that I've tried them myself, mind you.

Cavemen

Geico's cavemen to get ABC sitcom pilot

This news doesn't make me sick so much as sad. I'm not a card-carrying member of the PTC, so I'm not going to use my soapbox to call for a boycott, or an advertiser protest, or complaints to the FCC. I certainly wouldn't dream of watching this infomercial-with-commercial-breaks (the only infomercials I watch are the ones with Ron Popeil). But in a free economy, we get the shows we deserve, and the ones we deserve are whatever people are willing to watch so that the networks can sell commercials. This show is looking more and more likely with every news report and blog post (yes, I'm guilty too) that gives it free publicity before it even comes out, and while I can hope and pray that it dies a swift ratings death, I'm reminded of this old chestnut. We get what we ask for; we get what we deserve...and the next time you're bemoaning the cancellation of an intelligent, original TV show that you love, thank all the knuckledraggers who think shows about advertising pitchmen are entertainment. If I want to see cavemen, I'll set my Tivo to search Boomerang for this guy: